The Monster

I left my Home because I was running from you. Your the man who put me in jail, your the man who set me up with the police when it was all a lie, your the man who broke into my home, bleached all my clothes , ruined all my belongings, Your The man who robbed me and took my computer’s, and stole money from my accounts. The man who got me fired from my job, and who told my kids lies just to get them to hate me. You are The man who refused to leave me alone and would not stop for nothing. I could not take it anymore and could not bare to watch you destroy what was left of my world . So I packed my bags and jumped in my car to get as far as I could from you. The words you attack me with, to get my attention, are so powerful and damaging to my soul every single time. it breaks my heart to think you are capable of saying such horrible things to me and have no remorse for saying them.

You have made it so easy for me to hate you. You have put me in a position where I cant love you anymore. I try and try to convince myself that the things you have done are in the past and I can move on from them. But the Truth is Im not so sure I can.. I will find a way to forgive you, but damage like this in any relationship will forever be damaged. I now know what you are capable of when your angry. Your way of handling things is with Rage, Revenge, and causing direct pain to that person, Even if its to the ones you love the most. So for me to know you could do these things with a blink of an eye is enough for me to stay away forever. You cant be my future. My future does not foresee ugliness like this.

It took me 3 years for me to find the monster in you. To think I had no idea you could become this way. Never in a million years did I think you would have me put in jail just to save your own ass from being put in jail. Nor did I think you would make up some crazy story about me to the police and try yet again to have me arrested. You are just a very damaged man and you dont know any other way but to put your defenses up and become the Monster inside of you. I know you say you love me , but love does not threaten, or insult, or plan to destroy ones life if she leaves him. When I am with you , you treat me like a Queen. Like no other man ever has. When you leave my site, you treat me worse than any woman should ever be treated. I hate that you have done this. The damage is done and I know I respect myself more than this . Why do I keep letting you in . Maybe I’m scared to deal with what you will do next. Maybe I love you still, Maybe I will miss the good in you. Whatever it is , I know I have to say goodbye and let you go. I need you to let me go too. This isn’t healthy for you nor myself any longer. I only wish you happiness even after all that you have done to hurt me. I will not discount that I have hurt you too and I am so very sorry for my part in your pain. But you think this is love and I think cant be love. True Love only wishes happiness to a person when they are with or without that person in life. And I will always love you with or without you. Please let me go.

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